I am not writing this pretending to be old and decrepit. I am aware I’m 20, nearly 21 and still very much classed a ‘young’ adult. The thing is, i’ve realised lately that as I’m getting older certain thought processes change, my attitudes alter and well I’m becoming more and more of a irritable old woman.
Just like old woman do, i’m going to rant, just like i’m at a bus stop talking to those around me thinking they’re listening/caring. I realise I’m getting old because year by year I become less and less tolerant of humans. There was once a time where even with people I disliked ridiculous amounts I could smile and nod my head whilst in my head have a silent movie of them impaling themselves on a sharp object. However now, i’m not listening, i’m not nodding and i’m certainly not smiling. In fact my eyes are wandering looking for said sharp object.
Then there is the issue of supermarkets : I dawdle with my trolley, I’m even reading the nutritional information at the back, I actually CARE about what’s in my food and going into my body. Surely I should just be on a diet of post night out kebabs and chocolate. I even eye up the bottle of gin in Morrisons thinking of drinking it in the bath later on. If that isn’t middle aged, I don’t know what is. Know what else pisses me off? Checkout workers, even though I used to be one. No, stop making pointless, boring conversation with me, stop reading my magazine whilst you scan it through, no I do not need help packing my bags as every time you squash my bread to the size of a fucking rubik cube. JUST SCAN MY SHIT AND LET ME PAY. See how intolerant I’ve become?
What really made me realise of my impending ageing is my lack of excitement for Christmas I found it really sad that this year I’m not buzzing my tits off waiting for Santa coming. Even when my mum asked what I wanted, I had no idea, usually i’d have a long list ready by end of September. I do love Christmas, being around those you love, making them happy with thoughtful gifts, awesome food, lots of drink and festivity! Of course it’s a lot fun, but i’m just not giddy about it this year! It’s the same with snow, previous years I’ve longed for a white Christmas now all I think is ‘I hope it doesn’t snow, it’s gonna be a nightmare to travel in’. What have I become!?
I portray myself to be such a grump and a bit of an old bitch, but I do have fun, every day I do laugh and smile, and of course try to live life to the max. But getting older is becoming more and more apparent each year, but when I start matching anoraks with the poor bastard I eventually fall for, is the time when one of you must shoot me between the eyes.